Choosing between a night time romp and a morning quickie may seem like an either or situation if your life does not allow you the luxury to do both, but if you are trying to negotiate how to share out your lovemaking sessions between AM and PM, you will find that you are barking up the wrong tree.
But the solution to your sexual frustration is far easier than you think.
"We never seemed to take the time to be together just as the two of us" says Rachel, a full time housewife living outside London with her partner Henry and their two children. "It was always a matter of getting the sex out of the way so we could go to sleep, but Henry is keenest in the mornings which was a problem even before we had kids."
Henry says, "It wasn't really the reflex erection that triggered it off for me, but having sex as I woke up just put me in a good mood. The evening after a bad day at work was not an ideal time for me to have sex. my mind would just not be in it."
The solution came in the form of an erotic book Rachel bought off Amazon.
"It turned me on actually, when I found out she had been reading the book, but it helped us even more because it made us more comfortable to talk about our sex lives. It was easier to refer to the book and say what do you think of this story?" laughs Henry
Rachel agrees. "We could be more open with each other and spoke more freely about things. I didn't know for instance that a quick nookie in the morning would mean so much to Henry. The first time I woke him up with a blow job he came home from work with a huge smile still on his face and his arms full of flowers. And later that evening he made real effort to return the favour."
Working out a schedule for sex around kids, housework and other chores can be a tricky business and what finally made it work for Rachel and Henry was a very simple solution.
"We came up with a slight spin on a technique we found on a relationship website, and we called it a mutual appreciation evening." Rachel explains
They set aside one evening a week when, after they had put the kids to bed, they would first plan the next weeks chores, take up any grievances they had with each other as well as things they would like to thank the other for.
"We'd then move on to the "mutual appreciation" by taking a bath - even together if we felt like it, but usually on our own just to have a bit of space between the formal planning stuff and the sexy stuff".
Rachel continues, "Then we'd either get some wine or warm milk or something, depending on the mood, and find somewhere comfortable, anywhere in the house. Usually, if Henry has the bathroom first he'd use the time when I'm in there to put out some candles, music or something to set the mood but it's only as something extra once in a while.
"Most of the time we'll start off with a massage or just sitting opposite each other naked and talk, hug and stroke each other and so on."
"You know, the odd thing is" says Henry, "we may not always have sex that evening. I would say we end up going to bed cuddling more often than having sex, but because we have taken the time to appreciate each other, sex seems to happen more often on the other days."
"I think it is because we no longer think of sex as a chore," agrees Rachel. "We have dedicated two to three hours a week to spend quality time with each other, and because of that we seem to be able to deal with the chores better for the rest of the week."
So if you can't work out if you have the time or inclination for a night time nookie or a morning quickie, the solution is to make time to plan your family time and set aside some regular special time with your loved one.
And if you're lucky, you'll get both!
About The Author
Bettina Varese is a writer of erotic fiction and has published 4 paperback titles and one hardback book with http://www.collectivepublishing.co.uk/
Her books can be found in major UK book chains and in Canada. They are also available online. Bettina Varese has her own erotica website at http://www.bettinavarese.com
Her 5th paperback, "Erotica 5: Bettina Can't Help It!" is published by collective publishing on the 15th of March 2005